Norton Antivirus Rebranded As Lord Voldemort To Fight Harry Potter Virus

4th July 2004

A new virus promising a Harry Potter game, or secret information on the next book, has been causing havoc across the globe. Thousands of Harry Potter fans became infected by it after opening an email they believed would help feed their hunger for more news about the adolescent wizard.

In response, Symantec has decided to fight back, by releasing a special “Lord Voldemort” version of their Norton virus checker. It is hoped that if the Lord Voldemort virus checker can catch the Potter virus in its infancy it will stand a better chance of eliminating it for good.

The decision to market the product as Potter’s evil Nemesis has provoked angry discussion amongst experts and Harry Potter fans alike. Some experts have claimed it could lead to the virus becoming more widespread as children uninstall their evil virus checker to help their hero, Harry Potter, win.

Harry Potter fans have claimed Norton’s decision is foolish and unwise. They have explained that Voldemort is not powerful enough to take on the Harry Potter virus. They explained that it would have been far more faithful to the books to use Draco Malfoy or Hermione. They added that if they had used Hermione a photograph of actress Emma Watson on the box would certainly have increased sales to the teenage boy market, the demographic most at risk to inadvertently install the Harry Potter Virus.

The effectiveness of the Voldemort Edition of Norton is not yet know, however Symantec has claimed they will release up to date patches for the software as variations of the Potter virus emerge. They are currently trying to obtain a court order to get author J K Rowling to reveal the plot for the final two books in order to develop a better understanding on how to defeat it.

The speed at which the virus has spread has astounded experts; particularly as it is being sent using a fairly poorly written email, one that most people would be able to expose in the first few lines. This was later explained by the fact that most readers of Harry Potter are easily led by primitive works of fiction.