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Billions of Children are without Presents - December 25th 2002
Up to a billion children may be without presents today after police pulled over a driver for drink driving. After testing positive for alcohol and being found over the legal limit by a considerable amount the defendant, who cannot be named for legal reasons, insisted he did not realise his drinks contained alcohol:
"They were all left for me by children," he explained, "I did not think that children would have access to brandy or wine. I just hope that Rudolf's milk was not spiked."
The defendant was detained temporarily before being allowed back to his home in Lapland under Police bail. He will appear before a Magistrate's Court later in the year. His vehicle, consisting of a sleigh and several reindeer has been impounded by the Police but will be returned in about 6 months when the defendant's ban has been served.
"Although the ban will cause some problems, it will not affect my work." the defendant informed us before being taken home.
The police issued the following statement: "Whilst the intentions of the defendant are honourable, we cannot excuse drink driving under any circumstances. We would therefore like to ask children to leave non-alcoholic drinks outside their doors or at the foot of their chimney's next year. Nobody is above the law, especially when their actions endanger others. Drink driving may not seem like a serious crime, but an airborne sleigh travelling at several thousand kph would be devastating if the occupant lost control."
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