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>> News > Public Notices
Need a life? - April 1st 2003

Not got a life?

Then get a life with Download-A-Life: We can provide you with evidence of a life to show your friends you are not the sad case you actually are.

We provide our service in either a package deal or monthly subscription.



If you opt for the monthly subscription we will provide you with 'proof' of regular nights out. Examples include:

Underwear from members of the opposite mailed to you with instructions where best for you to plant them for your friends to later discover

"Random Phonecalls" during time intervals you request to give the illusion of a healthly and natural social life.

Instructions on how to create a believable untidy and unhygienic state that would have been left as the result of a beastial orgy.



Our package deals include:

Computer generated sex video tapes featuring yourself in threesomes or more adventurous sexual positions that you can accidently leave in your copy of "Lord of the Rings" when you lend it to your best friend.

An encounter where you will save your friends from an attack by three thugs. This will be prescripted and rehearsed to ensure that you come out with better oneliners than were featured in "Die Another Day"

Major celebrities to publically ask you out and for you to TURN THEM DOWN!



What are you waiting for?

Get a life today!!

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The content on this website is satirical and thus many reports are unsubstantiated and therefore should not be considered factual. The use of major brands and corporations is used in good humour in order to improve the impact of the writing. Under no circumstances should you believe anything that could be considered defamatory without first checking it against a major news source.

IMPORTANT: If you do not appreciate or understand this article please consult your doctor as your right ventromedial prefrontal cortex is impaired.
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