Custom Search
News
International
United Kingdom
United States
Sport
Entertainment
Internet
Science / Tech

Features
Articles
Notices
Editorial
Submissions

2010
January

The Dark Age
Nov 06 - Dec 09

2006
October
September
April
March
February
January

2005
December
October
September
May
April
February
January

2004
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

2003
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

2002
December
November




Hosted by
2f3 Internet

More Humour
BBspot
The Bentinel
Big Fib
Broken Newz
The Daily Bull
Deadbrain UK
Deadbrain US
Faux Newz
The Fake News
Glossy News
The Hammer
I-Mockery
KTAB News
Muskrat News
News Hax
No Apologies Press
On The John
Perplexing Times
Rant Morgan
Satirium
Social Scrutiny
The Specious Report
Studio 8
The Toque
Trepanning
US Press
The Voice of Reason UK
The Voice of Reason US
Watley Review
Weekly Canard

Music Sites
Sonar Radar
BeatEd.com
Green Plastic
No Through Road
>> News > United Kingdom
Local Businesses are Glad at Thieving Local Kids’ Pocket Money - June 18th 2003

A group of local businesses have stood up in defiance at their decision to cash-in on Fathers’ Day, thus harvesting most of the local kids’ pocket money as they splash out to impress their dad.

“To be honest, I have absolutely no qualms about it,” the editor of the local newspaper told us, “I charged nearly 200 kids £20 a time to put an ‘I love you dad’ ad in the paper. Are these kids stupid or something? I only had to put up one advert and they could all claim it was theirs! I was a bit pissed off with the 25 or so that decided to put their dad’s name in, forcing me to put in extra adverts, so I made sure I made at least one spelling mistake in and omitted the kisses. That’ll show the little bastards.”

The manager of the local supermarket was equally defiant:

“What a cash-in opportunity!” he exclaimed, “All we had to do was to put special ‘Father’s Day’ stickers on everything and charge three times the cost.

“I actually had one gullible little sod pay £300 for a brandless ‘Fathers’ Day’ DVD Player. Do I care he’s only 8 years old? No. Why should I be guilty at ripping off a kid who’s got £300 to spend. At that age I was lucky if I got fed at weekends, let alone get huge hand outs like that from my parents.”

He was not the only person to comment on the amount of money kids were able to spend these days. The local bank manager explained it had created a new area in the financial market.

“The fact is, kid’s these days are getting so much pocket money we have actually created a special ‘Pocket Money’ bank account. We give the kids a free lollipop for signing up (which we have advertised on a poster outside) which lures them inside. We then explain how impressed their dad would be with them if they set up their own bank account – and here’s the good bit – we charge them NEGATIVE interest.

“They’re only kids, they don’t understand interest rates and stuff like that – they’re so pleased with their free lollipop that they don’t care, or realise, that they’re losing 3% of their money per year.”

Click to share this page on:
Disclaimer: Random Perspective accepts no responsibility for your believing of anything on this website.

The content on this website is satirical and thus many reports are unsubstantiated and therefore should not be considered factual. The use of major brands and corporations is used in good humour in order to improve the impact of the writing. Under no circumstances should you believe anything that could be considered defamatory without first checking it against a major news source.

IMPORTANT: If you do not appreciate or understand this article please consult your doctor as your right ventromedial prefrontal cortex is impaired.
Latest News
Fishla announce World's first humanoid Robot Chef

Conservatives to increase Public Service praise by 200%

Shocking Image Confirms UKIP's Claims That Immigration Has Left Parts of Britain Unrecognisable

Santa Unveils Drone Fleet To Revolutionize Christmas Present Delivery in 2013

British and American Government Reach Consensus on Math vs Maths Debate



Related Articles
Bush Attends Political Meetings in his “Virtual Suit”

Dumped Boyfriend Rubbishes Claims that Guys are Less Committed to Relationships

Beckhams Buy France

US Army Release Iraq-themed Playing Cards – Regime Based Monopoly to follow soon…

Billions of Children are without Presents









Do you like this website?
Please let me know your opinions by emailing me or contacting me via MSN on BenDickson@Hotmail.com

Random Perspective: News, Satire and Humour.
Random Stuff for those who read this far: Oak Worktops and Walnut Worktops, Bespoke Designer Kitchens, Fruit Videos, FruitVideos Blog, Norfolk Wedding Photography, and Lowestoft Estate Agent