Having witnessed this new interface we are left wondering over how revolutionary it actually is. Yes, you don’t actually lose your work – your computer just gets angry with you and deletes your most accessed files in retaliation.

No, your computer doesn’t crash and reboot. It just gets fed up with you constantly using irritating Internet shorthand and restarts in frustration.

But we are left thinking, surely this isn’t any different to the traditional Microsoft Windows everyone loves or hates? The end result is effectively the same.

“Well no.” we are told, “The difference is now that we are in control of the activity. If you treat your computer correctly it will behave immaculately.”

But the problem is, it won’t happen. It won’t happen because of the same reason your Tamagochi died every day and your Furby learned how to swear. It’s impossible to spend enough time with your computer to insure a healthy upbringing.

“Besides, if your computer behaved immaculately the conduit for relieving your frustration would be gone and we would all be leading much more unhappy lives.”

These resounding words, from a high level Microsoft employment explains a mystery we have all been wondering for years. You need your computer to crash; things just wouldn’t work if it didn’t.