Following a string of women claiming to have had an affair with her husband, Victoria Beckham has expressed her disappointment that nobody has claimed to have had an affair with her.

At least three women have admitted to an affair with the famous midfielder, though so far he has publicly denied all these claims. David Beckham has insisted he is a happily married man, with two children he loves dearly and under no circumstances would go seeking an affair with anyone.

Victoria Beckham has also been outraged with these comments, and finds it difficult that no man has attempted to follow up the rumours by claiming to have had an affair with her.

Reports of her frustration, accumulated when she approached her gardener, Keith Wilson:

“Victoria approached me whilst I was working in the backyard.” Mr Wilson explained to us in an exclusive interview, “She came up to me and asked me if I would go to the tabloids claiming to have had an affair with her.

“I said I did not think it was a good idea, so she offered me a million pounds to make the claim. I thought about it, but not even a million pounds could make me go through with it.

“I said I’d admit to an affair with David for a million pounds, but she didn’t seem too pleased with that suggestion.

“She said I didn’t have to lie. I could just tell everyone I had been playing with her bush – meaning the rose bush I was giving a trim at the time. I still couldn’t do it.”

Mrs Beckham persisted to ask Mr Wilson if he would go through with the claims. However, it all ended in tears:

“She got so frustrated she asked me: ‘Don’t you think I’m sexy?’ She seemed genuinely shocked when I said no.”