Following technical difficulties with his telephone, the British Prime Minister Tony Blair has been forced to fly to Washington DC to conduct talks with his American counterpart President George Bush. Mr Blair arrived in Washington late on November 11th and will be talking to the President on a variety of issues from “How is the weather,” to “I hear you won that election last week, well done old chap.”

Although he is facing fierce criticism from the media, the public and the majority of his party, Mr Blair insisted the talks were urgent and were not just an opportunity to cash in on the huge publicity surrounding President Bush’s convincing victory in the 2004 elections. He stated that amongst other duties he had to return to the White House lawn and see if he could find the tennis ball that Bush lost the last time he came to visit.

Mr Blair explained the visit was vital as it was extremely important to maintain the ‘special relationship’ between the Unite Kingdom and the United States. He explained that together the nations were stronger and their influence depended heavily upon their close collaboration.

When questioned about Mr Blair’s visit President Bush fumbled through his personal planner uttering:

“Blair… Blair… let me see… oh yes, Tony Blair. He’s right here between ‘brush teeth’ and ‘read mail’”

Despite their opposition against the visit, some Labour and Liberal Democrat MPs hope that Mr Blair’s influence over the President could sway him in favourable directions on key international commitments, such as the Middle East peace treaty and the Kyoto agreement.

“I cannot understate the importance of the Kyoto agreement,” Liberal Democrat foreign affairs spokesman Sir Menzies Campbell stated, “It is vital to help control the problems of global warning. We need to get the American people to adopt a sensible stance on controlling pollution – the last thing we would want them to do is things such as flying a luxury jet liner 3,000 miles for the sake of a photo opportunity.”