Chuck, a quail from Texas, has expressed his gratitude to 78 year old lawyer Harry Whittington for intercepting a shot fired at him by Vice President of the United States, Dick Cheney. The quail, who has lived most of his life at the ranch where the incident took place, escaped unscathed – whereas hero Harry Whittington was hospitalised, suffering pellet wounds to the cheek, neck and chest.

“I have to say I thought that was it,” Chuck recounted, “When Dick Cheney swung around and got me in his sights I thought my days of living were over. I saw the glint in the Vice President's eye as his finger tightened on the trigger – I was certain I was going to die.

“The last thing I expected was for Harry Whittington to intercept the shot – I mean, he'd only shot dead 3 of my friends only 20 minutes ago. If anything I would have expected him to have unloaded an Uzi into my bloody corpse.”

Whilst the exact details of the incident are still unknown, it is believed that Dick Cheney inadvertently hit his friend whilst trying to shoot Chuck. It is generally accepted by all concerned that the Vice President was not intending to shoot Harry Whittington as no charges have yet been brought against him.

Dick Cheney has gone on record as stating that the incident ranked as “one of the worst days of his life.” It is widely believed to be one of the worst days of Harry Whittington's life as well.

Given the political gravity of the situation, President Bush was kept fully up to date with all the events – being informed of the incident within an hour of it taking place. Consequently, given that he had a heart attack as a result of the shooting, this meant Harry Whittington found out he had been shot via a leaked White House memo that had landed in his hospital bed inbox in error.

Meanwhile, Chuck has stated he hopes that Harry Whittington now empathises with the plight of the Texan quail:

“Whilst I am grateful for Mr Whittington's selfless actions, I hope that he re-evaluates his own actions. After all, he shot dead a whole load of quail before being shot himself. And as he found out, it really really hurts. At least he had the luxury of the best medical attention the United States Government can afford. Had it been a quail, or a poor person, that Dick Cheney had shot I doubt that expense would have been spared.”