Custom Search
News
International
United Kingdom
United States
Sport
Entertainment
Internet
Science / Tech

Features
Articles
Notices
Editorial
Submissions

2010
January

The Dark Age
Nov 06 - Dec 09

2006
October
September
April
March
February
January

2005
December
October
September
May
April
February
January

2004
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

2003
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

2002
December
November




Hosted by
2f3 Internet

More Humour
BBspot
The Bentinel
Big Fib
Broken Newz
The Daily Bull
Deadbrain UK
Deadbrain US
Faux Newz
The Fake News
Glossy News
The Hammer
I-Mockery
KTAB News
Muskrat News
News Hax
No Apologies Press
On The John
Perplexing Times
Rant Morgan
Satirium
Social Scrutiny
The Specious Report
Studio 8
The Toque
Trepanning
US Press
The Voice of Reason UK
The Voice of Reason US
Watley Review
Weekly Canard

Music Sites
Sonar Radar
BeatEd.com
Green Plastic
No Through Road
>> News > Entertainment
Britney Spears is NOT a Virgin; Men Worldwide Are Now Puzzled Why She Turned Them Down. - July 9th 2003

Britney Spears revealed that her constant instance that she was still in possession of her virginity was in actuality, a lie. She confessed that she had previously slept with her former lover, Justin Timberlake.

The result of her announcement has only served to puzzle many men from all over the globe.

“I don’t understand it,” retorted Keith Wilson, “I mean, one minute she’s a virgin, the next minute she’s not. How on earth can that happen? These things take time.”

Following on from this month’s editorial concerning his sex life, Random Perspective Editor Ben Dickson also had much to say on the topic:

“This is all very confusing. I’ve written to Britney on many occasions telling her how much I want to sleep with her. When I received no response to my offers I assumed it was the ‘virginity card’ being played. Her sexual inexperience or something. Or the fact she was saving herself for marriage.

“But now I find out she’s being at it with Mr Timberlake. That’s just got me completely foxed. She’s obviously experienced and isn’t saving herself. So why did she turn me down. It does not make sense.”

Several researchers have mathematically studied the dilemma. University lecturers from Cambridge University concluded:

“We have estimated that about 2 billion people would like to sleep with Miss Spears. Statistical models have shown that on average a woman accepts 1 in every 25 offers with a standard deviation of 15. That means that it is unlikely she would turn down more than 1 in 70 offers. Assuming 1 in 1000 people wrote her a letter it would mean she should have slept with over 28,000 people.

“But she claims to have only slept with just one. How does she explain this inconsistency?”

Click to share this page on:
Disclaimer: Random Perspective accepts no responsibility for your believing of anything on this website.

The content on this website is satirical and thus many reports are unsubstantiated and therefore should not be considered factual. The use of major brands and corporations is used in good humour in order to improve the impact of the writing. Under no circumstances should you believe anything that could be considered defamatory without first checking it against a major news source.

IMPORTANT: If you do not appreciate or understand this article please consult your doctor as your right ventromedial prefrontal cortex is impaired.
Latest News
Conservatives to increase Public Service praise by 200%

Shocking Image Confirms UKIP's Claims That Immigration Has Left Parts of Britain Unrecognisable

Santa Unveils Drone Fleet To Revolutionize Christmas Present Delivery in 2013

British and American Government Reach Consensus on Math vs Maths Debate

Yahoo Staff Hope Marissa Mayer's Love For Baking Ends Soon



Related Articles
You City Types have No Idea How Easy it is for you to get Sex

How Come the Internet Knows About My Sexual Inadequacies?

Michael Douglass and Catherine Zeta Jones to Stop Working

New Sex Play Requires Complete Attention of Scotland Yard

Replacement Entrance Exam for Cambridge University









Do you like this website?
Please let me know your opinions by emailing me or contacting me via MSN on BenDickson@Hotmail.com

Random Perspective: News, Satire and Humour.
Random Stuff for those who read this far: Oak Worktops and Walnut Worktops, Bespoke Designer Kitchens, Fruit Videos, FruitVideos Blog, Norfolk Wedding Photography, and Lowestoft Estate Agent