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>> News > Internet
Mydoom Virus Creator Tracked Down On Mars - February 1st 2004

The elusive programmer responsible for the Mydoom Virus currently circulating around the Internet has finally been tracked down. A team of Microsoft funded programmers traced the virus, when the following photograph appeared on Press Releases to MSN’s news department:

Picture of Mars Lander
NASA distributed this photograph sent back from the Opportunity Mars Rover, giving Microsoft programmers the final clue as to who created the virus.

“It all makes sense now,” Microsoft Programmer Keith Wilson explained in a live web broadcast, “I don’t know why we didn’t pick up the clues earlier. Mydoom virus causes millions of computers to crash globally due to a data overload – and then the Spirit space probe crashes due to a data overload.

“The pieces couldn’t fit together any better. Once the press release email from NASA appeared, with that attached JPEG, the jigsaw was solved.”

The Mydoom virus has been so effective in contaminating its victims as it sends out emails that appear to come from respectable organisations or government agencies, which many of the recipients trust.

NASA has denied sending out the email, and claims that the image appears to be a digitally edited copy of one of their previous press releases. Unfortunately Microsoft were unable to comment on this, as Mr Wilson suddenly experienced technical difficulties with his web broadcast and was cut off.

Minutes later, Microsoft replaced its huge, multi sectioned website which supported thousands of Microsoft products with a single page featuring a crude animation of Bill Gates having sex with a horse.

The hunt for the creator of the Mydoom virus has been extensive, with a severe sentence expected to be carried out against the perpetrator.

Meanwhile, the US Government finally tracked down the cow responsible for creating the recent BSE virus, and shot it.

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The content on this website is satirical and thus many reports are unsubstantiated and therefore should not be considered factual. The use of major brands and corporations is used in good humour in order to improve the impact of the writing. Under no circumstances should you believe anything that could be considered defamatory without first checking it against a major news source.

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