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>> News > Science and Technology
NASA Would Save Hubble If It Was A Giant Orbiting Space Cannon - February 18th 2004

NASA has revealed it would mount the cancelled servicing missions to the Hubble Space telescope if it was a Giant Orbiting Space Cannon, instead of just being the greatest tool for space exploration.

“If Hubble were a Giant Orbiting Space Cannon, we would definitely send space missions to service it.” NASA Chief Sean O’Keefe explained, “I mean, a Giant Orbiting Space Cannon would just be so cool! The average bloke in the street would actually care about it and we would then be justified in saving it.”

Apparently George Bush had originally been against the decision to scrap Hubble, but this was only because he thought it actually was a Giant Orbiting Space Cannon. However O’Keefe soon explained the President now supported his decision:

“George Bush said once he learned it was for looking for Big Bangs in space rather than causing Big Bangs on earth he wasn’t interested. He told us we ought to shelve the project and put up something that stood more chances of winning an election like a Space Cannon.

“He also said that Hubble had cost him hours of his valuable time during the build up to the Iraq war as he had drawn up several plans to shoot Saddam Hussein with it if the bombers couldn’t get in there quick enough.”

Petitions against NASA’s decision to scrap Hubble have manifested in the Save the Hubble website, which is drawing thousands of hits and interest from all over the globe. However, it is NASA’s view is that these people do not truly reflect public

“As useful as it is, Hubble just doesn’t fire up the public’s imagination as much as other projects like going to Mars, building a base on the Moon or shooting laser cannons at terrorists in the Middle East. It’s the old Star Trek versus Star Wars battle again – sure Star Trek might indulge us on a slightly more intellectual level, but the public wants light sabre battles, star destroyers and Jedi Knights – and Hubble just can’t provide all that.”

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