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>> News > United Kingdom
MPs Successfully Infect City of London With Purple Flour - May 19th 2004

Members of Parliament have successfully infected the Westminster area of London with a highly contagious cloud of purple flour. The incident happened after Prime Minister Tony Blair was struck by a missile during Prime Ministerís Question Time.

Two missiles, made from a condom filled with purple flour, were fired Ė one exploded on impact with Mr Blair, the other on contact with the ground by Mr Blairís feet, causing a purple cloud to hang in the air around the Prime Minister.

Televising was immediately terminated to allow MPs to run out screaming in panic without the indignity of it being broadcasted to thousands of viewers. After running out in panic the MPs then proceeded to mingle with people outside allowing any potential chemical from the then unidentified substance to be spread throughout the general public.

The MPs and those responsible for creating the security protocols came under criticism for these actions however MPs claimed that they didnít think the chemical was malicious, as the offenders didnít seem to terrorists. This apparently justified their decision not to wait for analysts to run tests on the substance and double check.

The procedure for allowing members of the public onto the unscreened area of the lobby is also under scrutiny. However following the confusion today plans are being drawn up on how to go forwards from here.

The unpopular suggestion to erect a permanent screen has led the Conservatives to suggest that, once a week, Mr Blair should allow himself to be publicly pelted by non-harmful projectiles such as pies, eggs and bags of flour. They claimed that by granting the public this service they would be certain that any future projectiles released inside the House of Commons would be those let off by terrorists.

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