Britain to Hold Referendum on Charles/Camilla Marriage

10th February 2005

Tony Blair has announced that the British People are to have a referendum deciding whether Prince Charles will be allowed to marry Camilla Parker Bowles. The couple, who announced today their intention to marry, have immediately found themselves at the centre of public attention as people debate whether or not the future King should be allowed to marry the Catholic divorcee.

“I think it is scandalous,” Keith Wilson, a retired gentleman from West Norfolk declared, “The Prince has no right marrying that woman. She's a Catholic for Christ's sake... how can the future head of the Church of England marry a Catholic, I thought they were meant to be our mortal enemies. If anything, he should be burning her.”

Mr Wilson is not alone in his views concerning Camilla. Many others believe she should be burned... and not just for being a Catholic. Keith Wilson's granddaughter, Olivia Wilson, echoed her grandfather's words:

“I think Camilla should be burned, and not just for being a Catholic.” She stated, “I believe her to a witch. Shortly after a royal visit to nearby Sandringham, Hoppy – my tadpole – turned into a frog. A horrible ugly frog. I can only imagine she cast an evil spell on him.”

Whilst the “Camilla-should-be-burned” campaign gained support, many others spoke of their support:

“To be honest, I'm really happy for them.” Chuck Hankman, an American tourist in London explained, “I mean, isn't this the fairytale ending for one member of the former fairytale couple. Admittedly, it would be more of a fairytale if Charles was marrying Diana again – but she died in a car crash, and its a bit difficult to get a fairytale ending with a corpse involved. But Camilla's the next best thing.”

However, most people couldn't understand why the news had caused such a fuss:

Dennis Bock, a car mechanic from Wisbech was stunned at the news:

“So let me get this straight, a guy who has been divorced from his wife for a decade, wants to marry a woman who has also been divorced for a quite a long time... and it makes national news? Hell then, they should devote a week to me then. I've married my brother, had children with my sister and was caught cheating last week with an divorced horse. What's the phone number for the Daily Star?”