White House Sues “The Onion” to Cover up Iran Invasion Plan

28th November 2005

The White House revealed today that it intends to invade Iran when it accidentally forwarded an official letter to our webmaster, Ben Dickson. The letter detailed how it had used a Cease and Desist order issued against the news satire publication “The Onion” to overshadow the planned invasion as it knew the press would consider it to be far more news worthy.

“At the end of the day people are getting tired of America invading Middle Eastern countries,” News analyst Chuck Hankman explained, “They'd done Iraq twice – whilst it would be their first invasion of Iran it is spelt very similar to Iraq so most people probably wouldn't notice the difference and ignore the story.

“A Cease and Desist against the Onion though? Well that's fantastic. Suddenly people wonder what's going on and want to know all the details. Meanwhile the Iran invasion goes out as a footnote on page 2 and nobody is any the wiser.”

Quite how George Bush inadvertently sent the email to our webmaster is not known. It is believed he was probably forwarded the webpage showing a flash representation of his own desktop, only to be amazed with the hall of mirrors effect it generated on his screen.

President Bush was so impressed with Random Perspective he issued an order as commander and chief to Donald Rumsfeld ordering him to look at the website. It is probable that he intended this order to be followed by all Americans.

You can download a copy of the letter from George Bush to Donald Rumsfeld about the planned invasion in PDF format here: Iran Invasion Letter

The Onion has been quick to criticise the order, claiming that it does not use the seal for commercial purposes. Whilst it is true that people do have to part with money to purchase the newspaper, if they want they are permitted to precisely cut the presidential seal from a publication and take it home free of charge.