Obama awarded Nobel Prize for Peace, Chemistry, Physics, Time Travel

10th November 2009

United States President Barrack Obama stunned the world, Republicans, Democrats and himself today when he was revealed to be the winner of this year's Nobel Peace Prize. The decision, revealed earlier this morning by the Swedish Academy, caught most people by surprise - even going as far as to cure over 6,000 cases of hiccups world wide. Bill Gates, who has been trying to buy the award for over a decade is reported to be 'really really freaking annoyed.'

"Seriously?" World renowned Nobel Prize commentator Keith Wilson exclaimed when asked for his opinion, "I mean, seriously? What in God's name has he done? And when has he had time to do it. This man has been in office for less than a year, and the only thing I can see that he has done is nearly start a civil war between the American Left and the American Right. How can we give the Nobel Peace Prize to a guy whose only notable action is to nearly start a war?"

Whilst no official statement explaining the decision has been forthcoming, several key people within the Swedish organisation have implied that the decision was based not on what Obama had accopmlished, but the commitments he had made during his Presidential campaign and the subsequent mandate given to him by the American people by being elected so decisively.

"That's just ridiculous," Keith Wilson retorted, "I mean, if he promised to invent the Warp Drive one day would we give him the Nobel Prize for Space Flight? Hell, if we based the awards system on New Year's resolutions I would have one for running a marathon, fixing the garage door and for not calling my wife fat whilst she does the washing up."

Upon receiving the news he had won the prize, President Obama gave a speech explaining how he had been humbled by the award:

"The thing is, I only entered as a joke," Obama admitted, "I was talking to Michelle and she said I should enter because after the last guy, a druglord with an assault rifle would get the Nobel Peace Prize... it was a joke, you know... because how Bush was always starting wars. It was his thing."

Obama went on to explain that just because he had now got his Nobel Peace Prize didn't mean he was going to stop pushing through his commitments to making the world more peaceful.

"After all, there is the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize too... I'm not intending on letting my crown go after just one year. I'm not going to give it up without a fight."