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>> News > United States
Fox News: 2008 Elections Perfect Platform To Launch New Anchor - January 11th 2010

Respected News Broadcaster Fox News revealed today that John McCain’s Presidential Campaign was just an extensive publicity stunt to raise the profile of their latest news anchor Sarah Palin.

The revelation, made yesterday afternoon, initially shocked pundits across the world – although after a few seconds to process the announcement they all came to the sudden realisation of how much sense it made.

“I am going to be honest,” Political commentator Chuck Hankman informed us, “It explains a great deal. I mean with McCain’s campaign starting off so badly when he announced this unknown, almost attractive woman as his sidekick we all assumed she was some kind of super secret weapon that was going to make Obama’s ability to articulate look like that of a demented fourth grader.

“I mean, the last thing you are going to do when facing the greatest orator of his generation is to wheel out some hockey mom who has to add material to her sentences to fill out her Twitter posts.”

It seems that the Republican Party realised with an approval rating so low that it was in danger of being submerged by the rising sea levels , they had lost all hope of winning the 2008 Election. With no serious contenders prepared to board the sunken ship Fox News approached the Republican Party asking if could therefore use the campaign to kick start the career of their latest journalist Sarah Palin. Paying John McCain good money to come out of retirement and give it ‘yet another go’ they were able to lend credibility to the legitimacy of the campaign, although suspicions did arise when McCain seemed to campaign at issues that were completely at odds with the positions he had taken during his career as a senator.

Stereotypical ugly English Political commentator Olivia Wilson explained to us that she never bought into the Palin hype:

“I mean she comes out of nowhere, literally – Alaska is nowhere, declares herself to be the role model all American mothers should aspire to be like (which includes machine gunning wolves from helicopters?!) On top of this she looks completely lost in the spotlight of national politics, like the cool kid at a small high school suddenly arriving at college.

“Best of all, her only qualification is that she came 2nd in a beauty contest in some Alaskan town. Excuse me, how is that an achievement? Did she get her $10?

I drove through a town in Alaska once and got so much male attention I could not stop. With the male to female ratio in that state I am amazed they managed to find a competitor for her to go up against.... or is that the point, she was the only contestant and still came second?”

When asked for comment, Sarah Palin referred reporters to several articles on the The Fake News, which all referred them to her Facebook page.

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