Custom Search
News
International
United Kingdom
United States
Sport
Entertainment
Internet
Science / Tech

Features
Articles
Notices
Editorial
Submissions

2010
January

The Dark Age
Nov 06 - Dec 09

2006
October
September
April
March
February
January

2005
December
October
September
May
April
February
January

2004
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

2003
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

2002
December
November




Hosted by
2f3 Internet

More Humour
BBspot
The Bentinel
Big Fib
Broken Newz
The Daily Bull
Deadbrain UK
Deadbrain US
Faux Newz
The Fake News
Glossy News
The Hammer
I-Mockery
KTAB News
Muskrat News
News Hax
No Apologies Press
On The John
Perplexing Times
Rant Morgan
Satirium
Social Scrutiny
The Specious Report
Studio 8
The Toque
Trepanning
US Press
The Voice of Reason UK
The Voice of Reason US
Watley Review
Weekly Canard

Music Sites
Sonar Radar
BeatEd.com
Green Plastic
No Through Road
>> News > United Kingdom
Amendments to the Ten Commandments Found in Lisbon Treaty - January 18th 2010

Keith Wilson, a law student at Oxford University, has uncovered evidence whilst studying the detail in the text of the Lisbon Treaty that shows amendments to the Ten Commandments, famously brought down by Moses and placed into the Ark of the Covenant.

“I was quite startled when I first read the passages relating to them, but it is definitely there,” Mr Wilson explained, “Right after the crossed out section talking about a European Anthem and Flag and lots other things that would bring the people of Europe together – there was this quite curious passage.”

The phrase read as follows:

LISBON TREATY EXTRACT
I am the Lord* your** God***

*Lord to be defined as person of high authority; only to be recognised in regulated premises that have passed the necessary audits and inspection schedules. For full details please go to chapter 19, sub section 6, paragraph 4.

** The word ‘your’ in this case is pertaining to an individual and denotes association. This association is not mandatory but at the wishes of the individual at which the statement is directed. For a complete list of exclusions please see the minutes of the meeting defining the full parameters of your from between the Committee of Correct Pronoun Usage and the Council of Attributed Articles

*** God, and all other terminology relating to omnipotent beings, do not exist within the confines of any legal establishment. Outside of these establishments people are free to engage in beliefs relating to said deities, a full list of types and descriptions can be found in the multicultural reference encyclopaedia.




“As I read through the treaty every one of the commandments was listed,” Mr Wilson continued, “Even the title had been changed from ‘The Ten Commandments’ to ‘The Assorted Selection of Lifestyle Suggestions; Quantity Approximately 12 to 15’”

The United Kingdom Independence Party denounced the news claiming it only proved what they had said all along, that Europe was trying to force an unwelcomed legislation upon Britain. Former UKIP leader, Nigel Farage released the following statement:

“We have demanded a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty since day one. The people of Britain have not had their chance to have their say on the matter and this new evidence only makes matters worse. Who is this ‘Moses’ and why was he appointed rather than elected? I am sure the EU will make the case that God has better judgement than the people but we live in a democracy.”

Some members of the British public shared Mr Farage’s outrage. Dennis Bock, famed ASBO collector from Cambridgeshire had the following to say:

“I don’t know what the Lisbon Treaty is, or what it does, but all the newspapers I have read have told me that it’s bad. Quite clearly, as a member of the British public I should have a say on whether we adopt it. Clearly, I am more than qualified to determine whether this 287 page document, written in complex legal language represents a fair deal for Britain and consequently whether or not it becomes law. “

EU Edition Of the 10 Commandments
Moses was reprimanded by EU officials for holding such a heavy stone tablet above his head without wearing a hard hat.

Click to share this page on:
Disclaimer: Random Perspective accepts no responsibility for your believing of anything on this website.

The content on this website is satirical and thus many reports are unsubstantiated and therefore should not be considered factual. The use of major brands and corporations is used in good humour in order to improve the impact of the writing. Under no circumstances should you believe anything that could be considered defamatory without first checking it against a major news source.

IMPORTANT: If you do not appreciate or understand this article please consult your doctor as your right ventromedial prefrontal cortex is impaired.
Latest News
Conservatives to increase Public Service praise by 200%

Shocking Image Confirms UKIP's Claims That Immigration Has Left Parts of Britain Unrecognisable

Santa Unveils Drone Fleet To Revolutionize Christmas Present Delivery in 2013

British and American Government Reach Consensus on Math vs Maths Debate

Yahoo Staff Hope Marissa Mayer's Love For Baking Ends Soon



Related Articles
UKIP Set Up "Xenophobes Anonymous" For Former BNP Voters

Demand for Young Working People Grows as UK Life Expectancy Hits Record High

Plumbers Fear that Expansion of EU may Harm Their Lifestyle

Conservatives Vow To Finish Third In Next General Election

Random Perspective Demands “Replace That Fascist Union Flag Now”









Do you like this website?
Please let me know your opinions by emailing me or contacting me via MSN on BenDickson@Hotmail.com

Random Perspective: News, Satire and Humour.
Random Stuff for those who read this far: Oak Worktops and Walnut Worktops, Bespoke Designer Kitchens, Fruit Videos, FruitVideos Blog, Norfolk Wedding Photography, and Lowestoft Estate Agent