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Amendments to the Ten Commandments Found in Lisbon Treaty - January 18th 2010
Keith Wilson, a law student at Oxford University, has uncovered evidence whilst studying the detail in the text of the Lisbon Treaty that shows amendments to the Ten Commandments, famously brought down by Moses and placed into the Ark of the Covenant.
“I was quite startled when I first read the passages relating to them, but it is definitely there,” Mr Wilson explained, “Right after the crossed out section talking about a European Anthem and Flag and lots other things that would bring the people of Europe together – there was this quite curious passage.”
The phrase read as follows:
LISBON TREATY EXTRACT I am the Lord* your** God***
*Lord to be defined as person of high authority; only to be recognised in regulated premises that have passed the necessary audits and inspection schedules. For full details please go to chapter 19, sub section 6, paragraph 4.
** The word ‘your’ in this case is pertaining to an individual and denotes association. This association is not mandatory but at the wishes of the individual at which the statement is directed. For a complete list of exclusions please see the minutes of the meeting defining the full parameters of your from between the Committee of Correct Pronoun Usage and the Council of Attributed Articles
*** God, and all other terminology relating to omnipotent beings, do not exist within the confines of any legal establishment. Outside of these establishments people are free to engage in beliefs relating to said deities, a full list of types and descriptions can be found in the multicultural reference encyclopaedia.
“As I read through the treaty every one of the commandments was listed,” Mr Wilson continued, “Even the title had been changed from ‘The Ten Commandments’ to ‘The Assorted Selection of Lifestyle Suggestions; Quantity Approximately 12 to 15’”
The United Kingdom Independence Party denounced the news claiming it only proved what they had said all along, that Europe was trying to force an unwelcomed legislation upon Britain. Former UKIP leader, Nigel Farage released the following statement:
“We have demanded a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty since day one. The people of Britain have not had their chance to have their say on the matter and this new evidence only makes matters worse. Who is this ‘Moses’ and why was he appointed rather than elected? I am sure the EU will make the case that God has better judgement than the people but we live in a democracy.”
Some members of the British public shared Mr Farage’s outrage. Dennis Bock, famed ASBO collector from Cambridgeshire had the following to say:
“I don’t know what the Lisbon Treaty is, or what it does, but all the newspapers I have read have told me that it’s bad. Quite clearly, as a member of the British public I should have a say on whether we adopt it. Clearly, I am more than qualified to determine whether this 287 page document, written in complex legal language represents a fair deal for Britain and consequently whether or not it becomes law. “
Moses was reprimanded by EU officials for holding such a heavy stone tablet above his head without wearing a hard hat.
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