|Krafts Takeover of Cadbury Leads to the Creation of Hundreds of Puns - January 19th 2010|
The news that Kraft Foods is taking over Cadbury has dominated the headlines of most financial news columns being that it is the largest takeover since the onset of the global recession. The news has not been welcomed in the United Kingdom, where workers feel that the takeover will lead to the loss of thousands of jobs. However, on the bright side, comedians have assured the population that the takeover would lead the creation of hundreds of puns, to help alleviate their mood.
“Cadbury has always brought everyone a great deal of joy,” Comedian Dennis Bock told people on his blog, “However, we have to remember that whilst jobs may be lost, this deal does secure Cadbury against the dangers of the Credit Crunchie!”
News of the takeover has been discussed in the news for the past few weeks, although the details were sketchy due to the effect of Chinese Wispas. The biggest concern about the proposal was the idea of a foreign corporation getting their Fingers in the pie that is one of Britain’s most famous companies.
Kraft Foods have attempted to Fudge the details about what will happen after the takeover, however there are rumours they may attempt to Fuse the company with a similar brand to expand the range of products and Boost their market share.
“It is important to realise in the current economic climate this will not be a Picnic.” Company spokesperson Chuck Hankman announced, “However, at Kraft Foods we have a Dream, we will not let this great British institution Flake or crumble. We will take Time Out of our busy schedules to make sure we all come out of this deal smelling like Roses.”
It has been revealed that Cadbury chairman Roger Carr has his fingers on the Buttons and he will ensure that Kraft Foods do not just take just take things for a Twirl. He said that whilst he was looking out for the company’s interests he did not consider himself to be a Miniature Hero. Ultimately though, when pushed on the matter he admitted there was some truth to the saying that if you want to make an omelette, you have to break some Creme Eggs.
Kraft Foods said the first cut would be to stop the replacement of the iconic Double Decker with the new Bendy chocolate bar.
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