Custom Search
News
International
United Kingdom
United States
Sport
Entertainment
Internet
Science / Tech

Features
Articles
Notices
Editorial
Submissions

2010
January

The Dark Age
Nov 06 - Dec 09

2006
October
September
April
March
February
January

2005
December
October
September
May
April
February
January

2004
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

2003
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

2002
December
November




Hosted by
2f3 Internet

More Humour
BBspot
The Bentinel
Big Fib
Broken Newz
The Daily Bull
Deadbrain UK
Deadbrain US
Faux Newz
The Fake News
Glossy News
The Hammer
I-Mockery
KTAB News
Muskrat News
News Hax
No Apologies Press
On The John
Perplexing Times
Rant Morgan
Satirium
Social Scrutiny
The Specious Report
Studio 8
The Toque
Trepanning
US Press
The Voice of Reason UK
The Voice of Reason US
Watley Review
Weekly Canard

Music Sites
Sonar Radar
BeatEd.com
Green Plastic
No Through Road
>> News > United Kingdom
Krafts Takeover of Cadbury Leads to the Creation of Hundreds of Puns - January 19th 2010

The news that Kraft Foods is taking over Cadbury has dominated the headlines of most financial news columns being that it is the largest takeover since the onset of the global recession. The news has not been welcomed in the United Kingdom, where workers feel that the takeover will lead to the loss of thousands of jobs. However, on the bright side, comedians have assured the population that the takeover would lead the creation of hundreds of puns, to help alleviate their mood.

“Cadbury has always brought everyone a great deal of joy,” Comedian Dennis Bock told people on his blog, “However, we have to remember that whilst jobs may be lost, this deal does secure Cadbury against the dangers of the Credit Crunchie!

News of the takeover has been discussed in the news for the past few weeks, although the details were sketchy due to the effect of Chinese Wispas. The biggest concern about the proposal was the idea of a foreign corporation getting their Fingers in the pie that is one of Britain’s most famous companies.

Kraft Foods have attempted to Fudge the details about what will happen after the takeover, however there are rumours they may attempt to Fuse the company with a similar brand to expand the range of products and Boost their market share.

“It is important to realise in the current economic climate this will not be a Picnic.” Company spokesperson Chuck Hankman announced, “However, at Kraft Foods we have a Dream, we will not let this great British institution Flake or crumble. We will take Time Out of our busy schedules to make sure we all come out of this deal smelling like Roses.”

It has been revealed that Cadbury chairman Roger Carr has his fingers on the Buttons and he will ensure that Kraft Foods do not just take just take things for a Twirl. He said that whilst he was looking out for the company’s interests he did not consider himself to be a Miniature Hero. Ultimately though, when pushed on the matter he admitted there was some truth to the saying that if you want to make an omelette, you have to break some Creme Eggs.

Cadbury Double Decker Chocolate Bar
Kraft Foods said the first cut would be to stop the replacement of the iconic Double Decker with the new Bendy chocolate bar.

Click to share this page on:
Disclaimer: Random Perspective accepts no responsibility for your believing of anything on this website.

The content on this website is satirical and thus many reports are unsubstantiated and therefore should not be considered factual. The use of major brands and corporations is used in good humour in order to improve the impact of the writing. Under no circumstances should you believe anything that could be considered defamatory without first checking it against a major news source.

IMPORTANT: If you do not appreciate or understand this article please consult your doctor as your right ventromedial prefrontal cortex is impaired.
Latest News
Shocking Image Confirms UKIP's Claims That Immigration Has Left Parts of Britain Unrecognisable

Santa Unveils Drone Fleet To Revolutionize Christmas Present Delivery in 2013

British and American Government Reach Consensus on Math vs Maths Debate

Yahoo Staff Hope Marissa Mayer's Love For Baking Ends Soon

Is Apple's WWDC the Star Trek Convention of the 21st Century?



Related Articles
European Space Probe Arrives in Cheese Shop

Church of England to Open McDonald’s Restaurants to Attract Back Worshippers

United Nations to Outlaw Vegetarianism in New Environmental Guidelines

British Sugar Despatch Covert Team To Clear Out Tescos

Mars Close to Earth – Visits Tesco









Do you like this website?
Please let me know your opinions by emailing me or contacting me via MSN on BenDickson@Hotmail.com

Random Perspective: News, Satire and Humour.
Random Stuff for those who read this far: Oak Worktops and Walnut Worktops, Bespoke Designer Kitchens, Fruit Videos, FruitVideos Blog, Norfolk Wedding Photography, and Lowestoft Estate Agent