Chile Rescues "Property of Bart Simpson" Walkie Talkie from Mine - October 11th 2010
Following a 67 day rescue attempt that has received widespread coverage across the world, the Chilean government was forced to admit the multi million dollar operation to drill down a collapsed copper mine had only managed to salvage a toy walkie-talkie.
Spokesperson Keifio Wilsona explained that the rescue workers were initially confused by the absense of miners at the bottom of the mineshaft:
"When we finally managed to get a rescue worker down there he was surprised that no one came to greet him. After all, we had been told there were 33 miners trapped down there, you would have thought they were eager to get out.
"So, he decided to have a look around the mine, and there was no one down there. The only thing he found was this plastic walkie talkie. It is not standard equipment, in fact it is a toy. It even has the child's name on it, look: 'Bart Simpson'"
Mr Wilsona went on to explain that after an investigation the rescue team determined that the whole 'trapped down a mine' story must have been a practical joke being played by the toy's owner:
"I don't know who this Bart Simpson is, but he is in a lot of trouble." Sebastian Pinera, the Chilean President announced, "He has made Chile look silly. I will use the full power of my office to pursue him and bring him to justice for what he has done. He will definitely be grounded."
Chilean officials are at a loss to explain how Bart Simpson was able to fake the TV footage of the miners down the well, or how he was able to get the Walkie Talkie down the collapsed mine in the first place, or why they were not suspicious that there would be a second mine collapse in the country shortly after the genuine mine collapse at Copiapo made the news.
They did, though, explain that following the discovery it was all a hoax they would probably abandon their plans to release a single to be sung by all members of the local community in support of the fictitious miners.
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