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>> News > United Kingdom
Local Businesses are Glad at Thieving Local Kids’ Pocket Money - June 18th 2003

A group of local businesses have stood up in defiance at their decision to cash-in on Fathers’ Day, thus harvesting most of the local kids’ pocket money as they splash out to impress their dad.

“To be honest, I have absolutely no qualms about it,” the editor of the local newspaper told us, “I charged nearly 200 kids £20 a time to put an ‘I love you dad’ ad in the paper. Are these kids stupid or something? I only had to put up one advert and they could all claim it was theirs! I was a bit pissed off with the 25 or so that decided to put their dad’s name in, forcing me to put in extra adverts, so I made sure I made at least one spelling mistake in and omitted the kisses. That’ll show the little bastards.”

The manager of the local supermarket was equally defiant:

“What a cash-in opportunity!” he exclaimed, “All we had to do was to put special ‘Father’s Day’ stickers on everything and charge three times the cost.

“I actually had one gullible little sod pay £300 for a brandless ‘Fathers’ Day’ DVD Player. Do I care he’s only 8 years old? No. Why should I be guilty at ripping off a kid who’s got £300 to spend. At that age I was lucky if I got fed at weekends, let alone get huge hand outs like that from my parents.”

He was not the only person to comment on the amount of money kids were able to spend these days. The local bank manager explained it had created a new area in the financial market.

“The fact is, kid’s these days are getting so much pocket money we have actually created a special ‘Pocket Money’ bank account. We give the kids a free lollipop for signing up (which we have advertised on a poster outside) which lures them inside. We then explain how impressed their dad would be with them if they set up their own bank account – and here’s the good bit – we charge them NEGATIVE interest.

“They’re only kids, they don’t understand interest rates and stuff like that – they’re so pleased with their free lollipop that they don’t care, or realise, that they’re losing 3% of their money per year.”

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