New White House Email system confirms 100% Support for Bush

19th August 2003

Being President of the United States means you attract an awful amount of emails from people wanting to give your verdict on how they feel you’re ruling. That was reasoning behind the White House’s decision to redesign the system for contacting George W Bush via e-mail.

When you receive thousands of emails a day, in a variety of different languages and writing styles it is often difficult to tell exactly what tone or opinion the author is holding. It was based on that that the users emailing the President were asked to choose whether their words are a “supportive comment” or a “differing opinion”

Although confident that they had made the best decisions and come up with the most suitable policies, both the President and his staff were surprised to receive 100% “Supportive comments” via their new feedback system.

“To be honest, whilst I believe in what I say and do I am surprised,” the President revealed in a press conference shortly after the feedback success was made public, “I mean, you switch on the Television and hear rumours that there are people in France who hate me, or even people in the Middle East who want to kill me. But these results have certainly shown me the real facts and exposed the lies of the scaremongers.

“I mean, there are several strong examples to support what I’m saying. One guy emailed me and told me he thought I was the biggest idiot to have walked this earth – but he still put ‘Supportive Comment’ on his email.

“Another guy asked me whether all ‘Differing Opinion’ emails got filed straight to the bin. Well in answer to that gentleman, no sir they do not. But thank you for your ‘Supporting Comment’ it’s nice to see that even those who usually disagree with me are supporting my latest policies.”