The Republicans have called for a new law that makes it illegal for people to enter a building they do not own through its back door. The idea, dreamt up by many of the more conservative members of the Republican party is being put before Congress later this week with the apparent intention of cutting the costs of fighting crime.

“You see, when you have two or more doors on a building it means that thieves and trespassers have many different points of entrance to a building. If we make it illegal for people to enter through the rear door then anyone caught doing so must therefore be some kind of criminal.”

When questioned about the possibility of making it illegal to enter a building through a window or ventilation shaft the spokesperson went quiet insisting that any other point of entry would have to be looked into on a case to case basis. He then went on to add.

“Unfortunately, after looking into all this Equal Rights bills and regulations we feel it would be unfair to restrict this new law just to buildings, we would have to make this ‘No Back Entry’ law apply to Cars, Tents, and Horses.

“Of course, that would also mean that the law would have to apply to human beings as well… and probably Black people.”

At this point an aide whispered in his ear and he was heard to mutter:

“What do you mean they’re the same as us?” Followed by, “Since the 19th CENTURY??”

“Obviously,” he continued, “We are not intending to reopen the discussion regarding the legalisation of sodomy, we respect the judgement of the Supreme Court – however obviously those wishing to indulge in it will have to do so in a manner that do not contravene with this new law.”