Custom Search
News
International
United Kingdom
United States
Sport
Entertainment
Internet
Science / Tech

Features
Articles
Notices
Editorial
Submissions

2010
January

The Dark Age
Nov 06 - Dec 09

2006
October
September
April
March
February
January

2005
December
October
September
May
April
February
January

2004
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

2003
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

2002
December
November




Hosted by
2f3 Internet

More Humour
BBspot
The Bentinel
Big Fib
Broken Newz
The Daily Bull
Deadbrain UK
Deadbrain US
Faux Newz
The Fake News
Glossy News
The Hammer
I-Mockery
KTAB News
Muskrat News
News Hax
No Apologies Press
On The John
Perplexing Times
Rant Morgan
Satirium
Social Scrutiny
The Specious Report
Studio 8
The Toque
Trepanning
US Press
The Voice of Reason UK
The Voice of Reason US
Watley Review
Weekly Canard

Music Sites
Sonar Radar
BeatEd.com
Green Plastic
No Through Road
>> News > Science and Technology
Mars Close to Earth – Visits Tesco - August 26th 2003

Mars, the fourth planet away from the Sun, is passing closer to the Earth than it has done in the last 65,000 years. The red planet, probably the best known due to its incarnations as a God of War, a Chocolate Bar and because it sounds a bit like SARS is quite a barren planet with little resources worth exploiting.

A little bit miffed that the space race did not continue past the USA successfully putting a man on the moon to see which nation could put a man on Mars, the planet has taken steps to make itself more attractive to the current Bush administration.

Stopping by at one of the stores of the supermarket chain Tesco, the Red Planet immediately pulled up at one of the petrol stations and proceeded to pump itself full of the various different fuels the station was selling.

“Ok, the petrol was a bit predictable,” Mars admitted, “But lets face it, now he knows for sure there’s some here it’ll only be a matter of time before the F16s are flying over.”

Mars Parked at Tesco
Typically, the car park at Tesco was full so Mars was forced to park at a les convenient one just down the road.

The planet then headed inside, towards the breakfast cereals where it spotted a promotion giving away Tellytubbies fridge magnets. Laughing evilly, the planet proceeded to put all the packets containing the magnet of Po, commonly believed to be the President’s favourite Tellytubby, into its trolley.

“If the oil isn’t enough, he’ll have to come here now to complete his collection of fridge magnets.” Mars boasted, unaware that President Bush had successfully purchased the entire set on eBay only last week.

Mars’s duration close to the Earth was longer than expected as the pound coin dispenser on the trolley jammed and the planet was forced to wait for a security guard to release it. However, whilst it was waiting Mars insisted on telling passers by that it knew where Osama Bin Laden and Saddam were hiding and asked if they could pass the message on to Bush.

Click to share this page on:
Disclaimer: Random Perspective accepts no responsibility for your believing of anything on this website.

The content on this website is satirical and thus many reports are unsubstantiated and therefore should not be considered factual. The use of major brands and corporations is used in good humour in order to improve the impact of the writing. Under no circumstances should you believe anything that could be considered defamatory without first checking it against a major news source.

IMPORTANT: If you do not appreciate or understand this article please consult your doctor as your right ventromedial prefrontal cortex is impaired.
Latest News
Conservatives to increase Public Service praise by 200%

Shocking Image Confirms UKIP's Claims That Immigration Has Left Parts of Britain Unrecognisable

Santa Unveils Drone Fleet To Revolutionize Christmas Present Delivery in 2013

British and American Government Reach Consensus on Math vs Maths Debate

Yahoo Staff Hope Marissa Mayer's Love For Baking Ends Soon



Related Topics:
Off to Mars


Related Articles
Bush Attends Political Meetings in his “Virtual Suit”

Alien Scientists Declare: “Anglers Can’t Feel Pain”

Bush Orders Interrogation of Space Shuttle Survivors

NASA denies the Moon Landings were faked

Britain Landed Man on the Moon









Do you like this website?
Please let me know your opinions by emailing me or contacting me via MSN on BenDickson@Hotmail.com

Random Perspective: News, Satire and Humour.
Random Stuff for those who read this far: Oak Worktops and Walnut Worktops, Bespoke Designer Kitchens, Fruit Videos, FruitVideos Blog, Norfolk Wedding Photography, and Lowestoft Estate Agent