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>> News > Entertainment
Mankind to Exhaust Creative Thinking by 2005 - September 21st 2003

Scientists have predicted that by 2005 the human race will have thought of every creative idea possible. The result will be that instead of coming up with new ideas artists of every distinction will have to resort to plagiarism – or ‘re-imagining’ as Hollywood likes to call it – in order to entertain the masses.

“Whilst it may sound like a little bit of a crisis, it shouldn’t impact too much on peoples’ lives.” A spokesperson for a major television network stated, “You see, anyone who watches Television will tell you 90% of what they watch is either a rerun, or has been broadcast on another channel before.”

The announcement only served to enrage creative thinkers around the planet who insisted they were free thinkers and were completely uninfluenced by any previous concepts that had gone before. However, the scientists proceeded to show them the evidence:

“It’s happening already,” Professor Chuck Hankman, researching Cultural Development at Yale insisted, “You only have to look at the number of boy bands getting number 1 hits with successful covers from the 60s and 70s And if that’s not good enough, look at all those satire websites blatantly plagiarising The Onion.

“It’s not just entertainment that’s affected. Remember the speeches given on September 11th? All that talk of ‘making it our finest hour’ was clearly ripping off Winston Churchill. I’m surprised Bush didn’t stand up and declare he was going to fight Bin Laden on the beaches…”

On hearing the news, Researchers from Cambridge announced they too had determined mankind would exhaust its creativity by 2005, however they had determined it 14 years ago. Unfortunately, as the Internet was not commonplace the report had attracted little attention.

This announcement caused Historians at Oxford University to reveal that an ancient Egyptian Prophet had come up with this prediction over 4,000 years ago. They also explained they believed that one of the Dinosaur species had a fair idea it would happen… before the human race had even evolved.

All of this triggered Random Perspective fans to complain about the similarities between this article and article number 75: Historians Discover that Cavemen Invented Satire.

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The content on this website is satirical and thus many reports are unsubstantiated and therefore should not be considered factual. The use of major brands and corporations is used in good humour in order to improve the impact of the writing. Under no circumstances should you believe anything that could be considered defamatory without first checking it against a major news source.

IMPORTANT: If you do not appreciate or understand this article please consult your doctor as your right ventromedial prefrontal cortex is impaired.
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