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>> News > International News
Dead Man Told that He'll Never Fly a Plane, Play a Piano or Have Sex Again. - September 25th 2003

A dead man was given the traumatic news today that his condition would severely impact his lifestyle. Amongst other activities being dead will prevent him from doing, the corpse was told he would no longer be able to play the piano, fly an aeroplane or have sex again.

"Obviously, learning you are no longer alive is quite a difficult realisation," the dead man's doctor explained, "However the really hard thing to accept are the limits being dead imposes on what you can do in your spare time.

"The fact is that when you are dead you have a great deal of spare time on your hands. When you are not hiding people's TV remote controls or scaring small children on Halloween you really have nothing to do. The trouble is that being dead prevents you from capitalising on this opporunity. Other than the ghostly duties already detailed there really is very little you can do. And believe me, the novelty of walking through a wall into a female changing room wears off very quickly. In fact, without the physical reaction it's really quite dull.”

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