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>> News > International News
Bush Urges Europeans To Share The Death Toll - February 8th 2004

President Bush has made an urgent plea to the European members of NATO that it is now time for them to take a leading role in Iraq. He believes it is time for the United States and Britain to stop acting alone and for their European Allies to assist them in the struggle.

“It is time for the Europeans to assist us in Iraq, the present situation is presenting us with many problems which would be solved with the addition of European soldiers. Principally, the problem concerns the death toll of American soldiers. With my impending election the numbers of US soldiers being fatally wounded in Iraq is seriously jeopardising the chances of my re-election being a success.

“With a greater proportion of non-US soldiers in Iraq this should serve to reduce the numbers of American soldiers being killed. Whilst it would result in some French and German and other Europites being killed this would not concern my voters as much. Besides, we have already lost over 500 soldiers, I would only be asking them to loose a fraction of that amount.”

President Bush was also quick to point out that communication was a severe issue in Iraq, as most Iraqis did not speak English. As most Europeans did not speak English Mr Bush reasoned that this would hopefully cure any communication issues between the armed forces and the civilian population.

Despite the best efforts of Donald Rumsfeld, Mr Bush’s wishes have not been fulfilled as the mood of the meeting quickly went sour. Whilst, it is believed that Mr Bush’s plans were not met with great enthusiasm, other factors are believed to have led to the rejection. In particular Donald Rumsfeld’s constant references to how Europe owed the American’s one for “saving the woosy French and giving the Germans a damn good hiding in WW2” is not believed to have helped.

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