At a summit of the “Big Three” members of the EU, the nations Britain, France and Germany declared that Europe’s future would be secure in their hands. They reasoned that being the three largest economies in the organisation it meant they must certainly be the most responsible.

“I mean,” British Foreign Secretary Jack Straw explained, “I don’t deny that in the past we’ve had a colourful history – what with the slave trade and the crusades and the burning of witches but that’s a long time in the past. Our recent history shows have far more responsible attitude.”

“Of course,” Germany’s Foreign Secretary continued, “In the last century we’ve only be responsible for 2 World Wars and 1 Iron Curtain. In the grand scheme of things that’s rather minor.”

The French spokesperson was just as eager to defend his country’s reputation:

“The French have always held the future and security of Europe as being very important. That’s why we surrendered in 1940 when Germany Tanks threatened to do damage to Paris. I mean, Paris is very important to Europe - far more important than stopping the whole of Europe being controlled by a fascist totalitarian regime.”

The meeting would have continued for longer, however trouble broke out when a German diplomat made fun of the British car manufacturer’s build quality. The British retaliated by enlisting the French diplomat’s help to plant a “Kick Me” sign on the German’s back. Unfortunately the British diplomat was caught in the act as the French diplomat surrendered whilst distracting the German.