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USA Successfully Develops and Tests Time Machine - February 27th 2003
The Whitehouse has announced that a team of leading US State sponsored scientists have successfully developed and tested a Time Machine purely in the interests of science.
“Of course, we didn’t want to do anything major when we first tested the machine like prevent the assassination of President Kennedy or prevent September 11th.” President Bush spoke on behalf of the research team, “Before we can do that we will need to consider the serious international implications. I mean, what one country sees as a bad piece of history another sees as their greatest hour.
“The French would be really grateful if we sent back a squadron of F16s to help them out during the Napoleonic wars but I don’t think that the Brits would be too chuffed with that. Any changes would have to be decided by the UN Security Council and agreed that it is in the interests of all nations involved.”
The implications of this technology would point towards stabilizing the World Tension surrounding Iraq since should he commit an evil attack the US would be able to travel back and stop him meaning that a war to go in and stop him is now unnecessary. However, this is not the case:
“Unfortunately, despite our best efforts not to contaminate the time line there has been one minor problem. Our scientists inadvertently prevented the end of the original Gulf War last decade and as a result NATO is still at war with Saddam’s regime.
“This time though, we will not make the same mistakes as last time and our troops that were preparing to wait until a UN resolution was granted permitting a second war with Saddam can now legally engage without the resolution because the last war hasn’t finished yet.”
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IMPORTANT: If you do not appreciate or understand this article please consult your doctor as your right ventromedial prefrontal cortex is impaired. |
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