West Attempts to convince Saddam to convert to Democracy

1st March 2003

In an effort to avoid war, the west has agreed that if Saddam Hussein voluntarily converts his regime to a democratically elected government they will not press ahead with the impending war.

In order to achieve this, the West has drawn up a CV detailing the achievements and perks of being a democracy that are likely to appeal to Saddam Hussein and make him decide that maybe democracy is his sort of thing:

CV of Democracy

The Slave Trade
It was a collection of democratic nations from Europe and North America that was responsible for the slave trade during the 18th and 19th centuries.

Nazi Germany
It was a Democratic nation that elected Hitler into power and thus created Nazi Germany.

Nuclear Warfare
The only nation to have used Nuclear Weapons in warfare had a democratically elected government.

Imperialism
It was the democratic nations of Europe that was responsible for the 19th century Imperialism, which crippled Africa and Asia in order to serve the Imperialist’s interests.

Oliver Cromwell
Oliver Cromwell showed that you could fight for democracy, and then become a dictator again when it doesn’t go your way.

The Romans
The Romans used a democratic system and they fed people to lions for fun.

George Bush
George Bush proved in 2000 that you don’t actually have to get the most votes to win in a Democracy.

Moral High Ground
Democracy gives you leverage in arguments because according to the leaders of democratic nations it is morally right to use democracy.