Bush beat Hans Blix at ‘Hide and Seek’

6th March 2003

Bush has claimed that just because UN chief weapons inspector Hans Blix has not found evidence of Weapons of Mass Destruction on the scale the US claimed they would does not mean Iraq does not have them:

“It’s quite simple, “ Bush told the UN Security Council, “Hans Blix is rubbish at ‘Hide and Seek.’ We had a little game at the weekend. I hid in the Dog’s Kennel for 3 hours before I got bored of him not finding me I gave myself up. He’d been searching my lounge for ages, I don’t know where he expected me to in there. He’d checked the biscuit barrel but that was empty. As was the fridge strangely enough.

“Does Saddam Hussein have a dog? I don’t know. But I bet as sure as hell he’s got a camel and just think how big their kennel would have to be. You could hide a tank or two in one of those.

“When the tables were turned, and I was the seeker I found Mr Blix in no time at all. He was sat on the couch – but it doesn’t matter. Had he been on the roof – my hiding place of choice as a kid - I would have spotted him with my spy satellites.

“This is why I should lead an expedition to Iraq to expose these weapons of mass destruction. Even with Mr Blix’s poor skills at ‘Hide and Seek’ he’s already exposed some evidence. With a champion ‘Hide and Seek’ player like myself Saddam Hussein would not be able to keep them hidden for long.”