Rumsfeld fails to find Weapons of Mass Destruction, Blair sent in - May 28th 2003
Weeks after the end of the liberation of Iraq, US Defence Secretary has admitted he is unable to find the Weapons of Mass Destruction that Saddam Hussein has hidden.
“I just don’t know where he’s hidden them,” Rumsfeld admitted in a press conference, “I know that I’m not as good a Hide and Seek player as George but I was always a close second. I just give in. Saddam Hussein is very talented.
“I would shake his hand and congratulate him, but I can’t find him either. I guess I’m just useless.”
On hearing that his Defence Secretary had admitted defeat George W Bush remained optimistic:
“Where human sight, and human sound, and human smell fails – we call upon the services of our canine friends. Sniffer dogs. I contacted, by videoconference, Prime Minister Blair of the United Kingdom. And I gave him the codeword to begin a new search operation in Iraq. The codeword, was ‘fetch’”
It is widely believed that ‘Fetch’ was the final codeword in the sequence transmitted to Mr Blair during the videoconference. Cleaners outside Mr Bush’s room at the time of the call are reported to have heard the President getting very excited, whilst shouting: “Sit boy, Sit. Good Boy. Now Roll Over.” although the White House is yet to confirm these rumours.
Mr Blair is believed to initiate his search after a short stop at Kuwait.
Mr Bush explained this was necessary, “Well it’s good practice to let the dog have a short stop outside the house after a long walk before you let him in. If you know what I mean…”
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