Deep Hole Outside White House is not a Nuclear Bunker

29th June 2003

It has been revealed that following a report predicting a 44 billion deficit in the budget prompted the digging of a large hole outside the White House to literally bury it. For months people had just assumed it was just another nuclear bunker for the President to take refuge in during a terrorist attack.

However, Washington DC woke one day to find the 600ft hole filled in and assumed the project has been abandoned.

This was until a White House gardener was digging up some weeds in the flowerbed and unearthed the unwanted report. The report went against the Bush’s administrations plans to introduce a $350 million tax relief meaning that the administration faced a tough decision:

They either had to make the realistic, but unpopular decision of scrapping these plans and raising taxes – or they could pretend the report had not happened, continue with the tax cuts and just hope on the off chance that the economy got fixed all by itself.

On hearing the discovery of the hole, the Daily Telegraph insisted that it sent its new “Archaeology Team” over to the White House grounds for closer inspection. The team, comprising journalists recently transferred from the newspapers Baghdad Investigations insisted they were only interested in historical facts and not obtaining scoop articles.

Meanwhile, the undercover Financial Times who obtained the report from the Gardener stated he had also discovered several other artefacts including Satellite Photographs of destroyed Iraqi Weapons of Mass Destruction, photographs of French people waving the American Flag and President Bush’s High School Geography Test Results.