American Troops stationed in Baghdad have clarified an earlier suggestion that the US Government was about to propose that the British consider moving some of their troops north to undertake the ‘hearts and minds’ operations in the Iraqi capital. It transpired that the US Troops stationed in Iraq wanted Britain to move its entire nation into the Iraqi capital.

“The fact is that Baghdad is a dangerous place,” Officer Chuck Hankman explained, “And we think that one way to make the city a whole lot less dangerous would be to move the Iraqis who want to kill us out, and replace them with a whole lot of people who don’t.

“So we thought – Tony Blair is always going on about the British People standing shoulder to should with Iraq, well if he moves them all to Baghdad – they literally can!”

People have criticised Officer Hankman’s plans – starting with how he planned to fit the 60 million people of the UK into a Baghdad, a city with a population of only 4 million.

“Oh that’s easy,” Chuck laughed, “I mean, they all fit in England right? And England’s a really really small place. Baghdad on the other hand is a fairly large city – the largest city in the Middle East. I can’t imagine there’d be a problem.”

Others have pointed out that not all British people support their American allies – some even distrust and openly dislike American citizens:

“Now it is true that some British people don’t like the Americans,” Chuck revealed, “But they’re our allies. I can’t imagine they’d try to kill us… it’s not like they’d going to get involved in anything like September 11th.”