Following the continuing rivalry between France and England in the European Soccer championships the French car manufacturer Renault has modified their current range of cars reject any England Flags that drivers may attempt to attach to their cars. The decision was made towards the end of the France England game when France looked destined to suffer a humiliating defeat but the French directors thought it would be great to continue with the plans after the French came back and won “just to annoy the English even more.”

The flying of miniature St George’s Cross Flags from the top of cars has become a common sight on English roads during Euro 2004, in an attempt to boost support around the country. Renault firmly believes these flags are directly connected to the improvements in England’s performance and believes that by making their cars reject the flags they will hopefully hinder England’s progression through the tournament.

“In the first game we detected the highest number of English flags flying at any stage so far during the tournament,” Jean-Paul Filsdejacques, one of Renault’s top designers explained, “That’s why England were able to score against us as they did. However, at the moment Beckham when to take his penalty a gale blew up in the East end of London blowing 1,000 flags off of their cars. With the flags gone Beckham missed and it was impossible for England to win.”

It is not known how Renault’s technology works, however every flag we attempted to attach during our road test was rejected – either by being repelled by a force, digested or vaporised. More amazingly, the car was able to destroy flags attached to other vehicles within a radius of 10 metres.

Renault had intended to license the technology out to fellow French manufacturers, however they claimed they were interested in purchasing a similar system built by German car manufacturer BMW. However, as well as just rejecting flags, it sheds any football merchandise that is England related. The car stereo also will refuse to play radio broadcasts that feature the phrases “David Beckham,” “Ingerland” or “5-1”

Finally, in an effort to follow the French patriotism displayed by Renault, French Insurance companies have raised their insurance prices for any motorist flying a St. George’s cross. They have stated though they will refund their customers £10 every time a flag detaches itself and maims an English Supporter.