Bush Cancels Invasion of Canada

17th July 2004

President Bush has today called off his planned invasion of Canada to convert the nation democracy after he heard they are already intending to hold elections later this month.

“I must say this is very promising,” The President revealed in a press conference, “By converting to democracy Canada has saved us from the trouble of invading it to force it upon them.”

President Bush has faced criticism following his invasion of Iraq that his reasons had more to do with oil than with converting Iraq to democracy. People have pointed out there are many other nations in the world who are not democratic but George Bush has not attempted to convert. The President hopes that his planned invasion of Canada puts an end to this myth.

However, the revelation has only attracted further criticism. Many believe that the planned Canadian invasion was just a rouse to detract criticism away from Iraq. Many Many Liberals have claimed they think it is highly unlikely that Canada was the worst non-democratic country in the world after Iraq. They claim it was probably already a democracy and Mr Bush had only planned to invade it “because it was close.”

President Bush has disputed these criticisms:

“The liberals can say what they want, but I firmly believe that it was the threat of invasion and threat of prisoner abuse that has driven Canada to hold elections. I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be paraded naked in their outdoor prisoners – just think of the potential frostbite!”

When the question repeated the question about Mr Bush wanting to divert attention from Iraq the President replied, pointing out “Oh look, a red car!” before quickly pushing on to the next question.

Mr Bush was then asked which country he next intended to convert to democracy:

“That’s a tough one,” The President mused, “You see there are very few countries out there that aren’t democracies with voting democrats.

“Let’s hope the United States doesn’t become one of them.” He added.