As the Tsunami Relief Competition races on into its third week Australia and Germany have overtaken previous group leader, the United States, pledging a massive $764 million and $674 milion respectively. With the current leader having an economy worth only a fraction of the United States it is expected that the super power will be forced to raise its state above the 2 billion dollar mark to avoid looking stingy.

“America cannot afford to lose its reputation as a caring nation,” George Bush announced in an emergency press conference, “And if it means pledging a few more million on some homeless Africans then that is a sacrifice we have to make. So long as these images of destruction and devastation fill the headlines, America will continue to promise more and more money in aid.”

Australia was quick to respond to the criticism that it is unlikely its promise of $764 million will fully materialise by promising to deliver the money – in 1 dollar bills – to the affected countries by Monday, where they can use the money to construct paper-mache houses, roads and bridges.

“The material properties of the 1 dollar bill are quite incredible,” Analyst Keith Wilson explained, “Compared to other currencies such as the Euro, or the five pound note, it is 17% more shock resistant, 15% more water proof and it nearly 40% stronger. Admittedly though, compared to concrete its still rather poor for making roads with, but if I had to build a road with currency, I would choose the 1 dollar bill every time.”

This Tsunami Victim plans to use his share of the relief money to construct a flood barrier in his back garden.