In Washington DC today, the special research department funded by President Bush dedicated to monitoring worldwide environmental disasters prepared their paper proving that the recent disaster in New Orleans had nothing to do with Climate Change:

“There are loads of people out there who are no doubt using this recent disaster as leverage in their arguments against our administrations attitude towards Climate Change.” Lead researcher Chuck Hankman announced, “First, might I point out how little compassion these people must have to use such a tragic event against us in an argument, and secondly I must point out they are completely wrong. Katrina had nothing to do with Climate Change.”

The paper, which according to officials will be released to the public once a couple of issues are resolved, is almost complete – the science team preparing it are just waiting for the proof which once they have added will prove beyond any doubt that Katrina had nothing to do with Climate Change.

Whilst critics have queried the fact that proof is quite a substantial aspect of any argument, the research team reassured journalists it was common practice to come up with the point of view first and then find the facts to back it up.

“Even if Katrina was caused by Climate Change, what difference does it make? If we start reducing emissions now the disaster in New Orleans has already happened. No – we explained when we chose not to sign the Kyoto agreement that it was against American interests to get involved with it and I maintain that position today.”