Custom Search
News
International
United Kingdom
United States
Sport
Entertainment
Internet
Science / Tech

Features
Articles
Notices
Editorial
Submissions

2010
January

The Dark Age
Nov 06 - Dec 09

2006
October
September
April
March
February
January

2005
December
October
September
May
April
February
January

2004
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

2003
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

2002
December
November




Hosted by
2f3 Internet

More Humour
BBspot
The Bentinel
Big Fib
Broken Newz
The Daily Bull
Deadbrain UK
Deadbrain US
Faux Newz
The Fake News
Glossy News
The Hammer
I-Mockery
KTAB News
Muskrat News
News Hax
No Apologies Press
On The John
Perplexing Times
Rant Morgan
Satirium
Social Scrutiny
The Specious Report
Studio 8
The Toque
Trepanning
US Press
The Voice of Reason UK
The Voice of Reason US
Watley Review
Weekly Canard

Music Sites
Sonar Radar
BeatEd.com
Green Plastic
No Through Road
>> News > United Kingdom
Whale Unhappy About Congestion Charge Fine - January 21st 2006

A bottle-nose whale who accidentally got lost in the centre of London after swimming up the river Thames has expressed his anger to be hit with a £50 fine for failing to pay his Congestion Charges.

“This is completely unfair,” The whale, who requested to remain anonymous, complained, “I had no idea I was heading into a congestion charge zone, I don't live in these parts – we don't even have congestion charges where I live.”

Despite the animal's protests the London authorities explained that ignorance was no excuse – regardless of your age, gender, nationality or species. They explained that the whale had plenty of opportunity to turn around before entering the congestion charge zone but seemed adamant on getting a first hand sighting of the Houses of Parliament and the London Eye.

A bottle nosed whale next to the Houses of Parliament
The whale waited in line for 3 hours to get on the London Eye only to find he had left his wallet at home.

Animal Rights protesters were unusually supportive of the authorities, Their spokesperson – Keith Wilson – was happy to point out why:

“For years we have been campaigning for equal rights for animals – we don't believe that testing should be conducted on them, we don't believe that killing an innocent animal should be allowed and therefore – by default – we believe that this whale should receive his £50 penalty fine.”

This stance has surprised many observers, as well as the whale whose only response was something about the only way he'd get their sympathy was to dress up like a fox and stand in a field in Norfolk.

Keith Wilson was quick to justify his position.

“I have checked with the London authorities and in the 3 years that the congestion charge has been running there have been no previous cases of whales failing to pay their tolls on time. This only goes to prove that this whale is an exception to that rule and has no excuse for failing to do so.

“Also, I understand that not only did the whale enter the congestion charging zone, he received a free breakdown recovery service in order to help him get back home. If people fail to pay their charges who does he think is going to pay for these services? No, I am prepared to help innocent animals but this one is quite clearly the type who freeloads off of his parents and then complains to the world that life's unfair.”


Editor's note: This story was written before the unfortunate death of the whale involved in the incident that this story was based on. I did debate taking the story down, however I feel that it serves as a memory to the event and will remind people of it once it has faded from the headlines.

Click to share this page on:
Disclaimer: Random Perspective accepts no responsibility for your believing of anything on this website.

The content on this website is satirical and thus many reports are unsubstantiated and therefore should not be considered factual. The use of major brands and corporations is used in good humour in order to improve the impact of the writing. Under no circumstances should you believe anything that could be considered defamatory without first checking it against a major news source.

IMPORTANT: If you do not appreciate or understand this article please consult your doctor as your right ventromedial prefrontal cortex is impaired.
Latest News
Shocking Image Confirms UKIP's Claims That Immigration Has Left Parts of Britain Unrecognisable

Santa Unveils Drone Fleet To Revolutionize Christmas Present Delivery in 2013

British and American Government Reach Consensus on Math vs Maths Debate

Yahoo Staff Hope Marissa Mayer's Love For Baking Ends Soon

Is Apple's WWDC the Star Trek Convention of the 21st Century?



Related Articles
Labour Announces Plans to Turn Silverstone Into a Housing Estate

MPs Successfully Infect City of London With Purple Flour

Increasing Number of Pet Owners Putting Themselves In Danger

Princess Anne’s Dog Reveals Tormented Past To Canine Psychologist

Tabloids Split over Snowy Weather









Do you like this website?
Please let me know your opinions by emailing me or contacting me via MSN on BenDickson@Hotmail.com

Random Perspective: News, Satire and Humour.
Random Stuff for those who read this far: Oak Worktops and Walnut Worktops, Bespoke Designer Kitchens, Fruit Videos, FruitVideos Blog, Norfolk Wedding Photography, and Lowestoft Estate Agent