It has been revealed by a Sunday Tabloid that Conservative Party leader David Cameron 'savagely attacked' a small, 8 year old boy simply because the boy claimed that Mr Cameron 'smelt like poo.'

The incident took place 33 years ago, when Mr Cameron was 7 years old, attending primary school in Oxfordshire. The boy had apparently been harrassing Mr Cameron all day to no avail, until the boy likened the Conservative Leader's odour to being similar to human faeces, at which point Mr Cameron turned and pushed the boy to the ground in what was described as a 'sudden, unexpected use of extreme force.'

Many people have been critical of Mr Cameron's actions:

"Sure, it's never nice to be told that you smell like excrement," Tabloid Reporter Keith Wilson commented, "But Mr Cameron is the leader of a major political party. He has to put up with all sorts of accusations every day. He should be able to handle it better than to beat up the small child in question. There is no excuse for Mr Cameron's actions, I don't care that he was only 7 years old at the time."

Chuck Hankman, the child Mr Cameron attacked, now 41 years old recalled the incident in vivid detail:

"So first I said he liked to smell poo. And then I said he liked to eat poo. And then I said he smelt like poo. To be honest, I thought he would have been able to have responded to such a well thought out political attack. Obviously, this level of criticism was too advanced for him to respond to on an intellectual level - so he pushed me onto the playground floor."

Mr Cameron has refused to comment on the specifics of any action he may or may not have been involved in claiming:

"Politicians have a right to a private life before they entered politics. I refuse to comment on this or the cannibis allegations, the bed wetting allegations or the allegations that I systematically murdered 15 people and buried their bodies under the foundations of a then-being-constructed block of flats. Whether any of these issues is true or not is irrelevant as they all allegedly took place before I was a Member of Parliament."