Internet Community Pleads With Bush to Initiate World War 3

23rd July 2003

An almost nuclear-blast-like wave of discontent has been gathering momentum over recent weeks and has swept across the Internet resulting in an almost unanimous want for a Third World War.

Internet forums across the world were set ablaze earlier this year with the initial attacks on Baghdad, during the Operation Iraqi Freedom campaign, discussing Bush’s motives and the eventual third world war that would result from his actions.

Despite discussion continuing on whether people were right to second guess the President’s motives, many are disappointed that they were proved wrong when Bush didn’t push on to Syria or Iran.

“I was definitely against Bush invading Iran or Syria,” Internet user, BuSh_EqUaLs_hItLeR informed us, “But I’m pissed off he didn’t invade because I was so certain the warmonger was going to. Why the hell did he stop with Iraq? Go on, we now know Saddam went to Syria. Send your tanks and cruise missiles in there to get him so I can start protesting again.”

Several Right Wing Counterstrike Groups also voiced their strong support for WW3.

“I’ve been playing Counterstrike online for years now. It’s perfectly ok shooting people virtually but the only way I can do it for real at the moment would land me in death row.

“I want a Third World War so I can go and shoot some foreign assholes for real. If we’re fighting somewhere like China we’ll need a huge army so they won’t care about my mental condition. If anything it’ll help. Just think how many Commie bastards I could mow down with this nervous twitch….”

The world’s satire websites also joined the movement for war.

Random Perspective editor Ben Dickson had this to say:

“A month or two ago, and you could publish an Iraq article with ease and people would read it. But now people aren’t interested in it. It’s yesterday’s news. But the thing is, compared to the war on Iraq all major news stories are a bit pathetic. I mean, Leyton Hewitt got knocked out in Wimbledon. Sure, any other year that might be worth a laugh at his expense. But when you’ve got a catalogue of unused, quality Weapons of Mass Destruction articles it doesn’t seem worth it.

“These days I can’t get three words into an article without saying a word like nuclear, biological or chemical.

“I’m for World War 3. If only there was a country called ‘Breasts’ and I could tie up both hit gathering goldmines at once.”