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>> News > Sport
Changes to Wimbledom Cause Lleyton Hewitt to be Knocked Out After Falling into the Pit of Doom - June 24th 2003

Lleyton Hewitt has been knocked out of the Wimbledon Grand Slam Tennis Tournament after falling down the Pit of Doom. The shock surprise came in the first round when the number one seed took a step back after serving an ace and plummeted 40 feet into a pit of molten lava.

The Pit of Doom is one of several new additions to the Wimbledon Men’s Tournament in an effort to liven the game up which has become dominated by the power and accuracy of the first serve in recent years. The new system was designed to provoke upsets and make the game more interesting and Hewitt’s literal crash out of the tournament is believed to prove that the changes are now working.

Along with the Pit of Doom, 4 other obstacles have been added.

To start with, each player has a length of a elastic tied to their waist. If they stray more than 2 metres from the centre of their half of the court they are immediately pulled back.

To make matters worse, borrowing an idea from gladiatorial combat, a live starving tiger has been chained to each corner of the court making it far more dangerous for the players to chase off after long balls.

To prevent those ‘just out’ disputes, two patriot missile launchers have been stationed at each end of the court – any ball that approaches the line, or acts in a threatening behaviour will immediately be targeted and destroyed and counted as out.

Finally, instead of using tennis rackets, the players have a choice between using a sledge hammer or a tea spoon, forcing the player to make that age old decision to go with strength or agility.

The Pit of Doom though, remains the crowd favourite. It has resulted in increased strawberry sales as spectators try to pelt the pigeons perched on the end in order to make them plummet to a fiery end.

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