New Radiohead Album Debuts at Number 1

22nd January 2003

Radiohead's new album "We hate everyone in the World. Please Don't Buy this Album. It's Rubbish" has debuted at number 1 in both the USA and the UK, storming past all the competition.

The album consists of 3 tracks, each varying degrees of silence.

The bands lead singer and spokesperson Thom Yorke had this to say: "We wrote the lyrics by drawing letters from a Scrabble bag and the music was composed by placing a microphone in a washing machine along with a CD Player playing our last two albums "Kid A" And "Amnesiac" simultaneously.

"To create the final effect, we dubbed the lyrics (backwards in one stereo channel) and then muted everything to create the final tracks. It's taken 15 months to produce and cost our evil capitalist record company millions.

"Critics will say the lyrics are meaningless and what the hell are we doing? And they'd be right. The lyrics mean nothing, and it is a waste of money. It's not our fault you're all going to buy it and call it the new 'Dark Side of the Moon'"

The track listing is as follows:
Track #1: Wee CArnT SpeL oR uuSe cApps LOK pRoPerLEE - 22:47
Track #2: Another Pointless Fart - 0:24
Track #3: Our Next Album will be like 'The Bends' (Honest) - 20:03

The special edition of the Album comes in a real used McDonald's Big Mac box with and includes a Bonus Track, a new remix of Paranoid Android in the Band's new style. 6 minutes and 23 seconds of silence.