Meteor to Hit Earth – House Insurance Costs to Rise

7th October 2003

Following the news that an asteroid is due to hit Earth in 2014, Insurance Companies have taken the step of increasing house prices in order to compensate for the potential disaster:

“Obviously, the potential damage caused by a direct hit from a meteor is far more devastating than that of a fire, subsidence or a nuclear bomb meaning we have had to raise insurance premiums considerably.

“The basic rate means house owners will receive a free pamphlet detailing how to survive in a post apocalyptic world, and free use of an emergency helpline should the planet be devastated by meteor.

“The silver service entitles house owners to free counselling and rent free use of a cave for up to five years until their house has been rebuild or they die or oxygen starvation and malnourishment.

“Finally, the gold service will entitle users to be placed in stasis tubes and their minds occupied by computers whilst the earth recovers and pre programmed machines rebuild the ruined planet… hang on, I think I’ve just worked out the twist in the final Matrix film – it’s all due to Insurance companies…”

Experts have claimed that Insurance companies are employing shock tactics with no scientific proof to back their claims but the Insurers disgree:

“Everyone’s heard that you are 700 times more likely to get hit by a meteor. That means that you have a 1 in 20,000 chance of being hit by a meteor meaning that every week 3 million people are being struck by a meteors. I think it is time Insurance companies compensated these people.”