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>> News > United States
US Determines that Saddam Hussein was ‘Bluffing’ about Weapons of Mass Destruction - October 2nd 2003

The United States has announced that the reasons no Weapons of Mass Destruction have been found in Iraq is down to the fact that the former Iraqi Dictator, Saddam Hussein, was bluffing about owning any.

“It’s the only logical explanation,” A spokesperson for George Bush explained, “I think that Saddam Hussein had grown tired of being a dictator with unlimited wealth and a life of luxury and wanted to slum it for his retirement. He figured the only way he could do that was to trick the US and UK into invading Iraq and removing him from power.

“We also have evidence that his sons were pissing him off a bit as they haven’t been randomly murdering people as often as they used to so he probably wanted them dead too – which is why he left them in Baghdad to get shot.”

Experts have said that if the United States’ theory is correct then Saddam Hussein’s bluffing technique was quite unusual given that he constantly denied ever having Weapons of Mass Destruction.

“When playing Poker, if you want to convince your opponent you’ve got a royal flush, rather than an Ace High you don’t spend all your time telling them you’ve got nothing – you’d lose.” An international expert in bluffing techniques informed us.

After putting this to the White House George W. Bush replied:

“Your expert said if he used that technique he’d lose, and correct me if I’m wrong but he did.”

At this point we pointed out to the President that the US had put 87 billion in the pot and so far had got nothing back.

“But what about all of the oi..” was all the President could say before technical difficulties caused his microphone to cut out.

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The content on this website is satirical and thus many reports are unsubstantiated and therefore should not be considered factual. The use of major brands and corporations is used in good humour in order to improve the impact of the writing. Under no circumstances should you believe anything that could be considered defamatory without first checking it against a major news source.

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