Tories Forced to Recycle Old Slogan as More Relevant Suggestions are Useless

8th November 2003

The Conservative Party hit back against Labour today with a preview of its election campaign, due to start some time in the next 18 months, once a date for the next General Election is decided.

However, efforts to persuade the public the Tories were truly reformed into a modern, representative party were put on a back foot when it was revealed the Tories had recycled the successful slogan “Labour isn’t working” that had put Margaret Thatcher in power in 1979.

“The fact of the matter is the last time we used this slogan it worked, and we were put in power for 18 years.” A Tory spokesperson revealed, “Who’s to say it won’t work again.”

Sceptics were quick to point out that this might not be the only reason that the Tory party had decided to recycle the famous catchphrase. A document listing some of suggested new slogans was leaked to the press showing the following examples:

“Vote for us, we’re desperate!”

“With almost everything privatised a Tory vote is no longer a risk to society,”

“If you don’t vote for us nobody will.”

“Conservatives: another defeat would just be silly.”

“If you vote Tory, we’ll uninvade Iraq”

“Voting Tory is Fashionable: Iain Duncan Smith is doing so.”