British Demand to Know Who Howard Dean Is

14th January 2004

The population of Great Britain have demanded to know whom the person Howard Dean is. With the 2004 US Presidential Elections due in the fall of this year the various campaigns have started – most notably with George W. Bush’s ambitious space program.

However, despite the international urge for an alternative US leader, many – including America’s closest ally, Great Britain – are at a loss as to who exactly is opposing President Bush. Various searches of the Internet have revealed little more info, with only the occasional reference to some guy called ‘Howard Dean’ cropping up now and again.

This has created a large amount of panic amongst the British population, who have recently suffered at the lack of an oppositional identity, only to have that identity filled by a rather eccentric reportedly-ex-vampire.

“I really hope that doesn’t happen in America,” Political Analyst Keith Wilson explained, “As it is the most powerful country in the world, the US desperately requires strong leadership and a strong opposition to get the best out of it.

“Of course, being a non American and completely unaware of who Howard Dean is, he could fill that role perfectly but we just don’t know. And whilst we’re desperate to see Bush out of office we could find ourselves supporting someone even worse. I mean, what if he’s like Iain Duncan-Smith?”

Whilst it is unlikely that Howard Dean is like Mr Duncan Smith, being that the number of elderly looking foetuses is believed to be restricted to high profile British Conservatives, there is a danger the impact of his policies could be similar.

“What are his policies?” Keith Wilson asked, “The British didn’t know what Mr Duncan Smith’s were and I’ve heard worrying reports that the Americans don’t know what Howard Dean’s are.”