The US Government has introduced a new counter terrorism policy instructing airlines to send their planes to a different destination than the one being advertised. The idea came after the American Airlines plane travelling from New York to Washington was diverted to a different airport in the US Capital instead of the airport that the plane was originally intended to travel to. The reason for the policy is that it will significantly hinder any terrorism that terrorists may be intending to commit.

“If a terrorist wants to commit a terrorist attack in Washington he will naturally board a plane that is advertised for landing at Washington.” Chuck Hankman, the brainchild of the new counter terrorism policy explained, “However if that plane then lands at Chicago he’s not going to know what to do.”

Critics have been quick to point out that this will also cause exactly the same problems for non-terrorist passengers, which typically make up 100% of the passenger load on any flight. Chuck Hankman already had the answer:

“That’s where the genius of the plan kicks in. Because after a week or two ordinary passengers will realise it’s pointless travelling by air, because they won’t be getting to the destinations they want to fly to. Due to this, in three weeks time we plan to introduce another counter terrorism law that states that any passenger flying on an aeroplane is automatically a terrorist because they would have no reason to be an ordinary passenger.”

Plans are already in the pipeline to expand the law to include Trains, Taxis and Carrier Pigeons.

It was intended to cover buses with the new counter terrorism law, but it was quickly realised that buses already rarely ended up going where you wanted them to go.