Custom Search
News
International
United Kingdom
United States
Sport
Entertainment
Internet
Science / Tech

Features
Articles
Notices
Editorial
Submissions

2010
January

The Dark Age
Nov 06 - Dec 09

2006
October
September
April
March
February
January

2005
December
October
September
May
April
February
January

2004
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

2003
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

2002
December
November




Hosted by
2f3 Internet

More Humour
BBspot
The Bentinel
Big Fib
Broken Newz
The Daily Bull
Deadbrain UK
Deadbrain US
Faux Newz
The Fake News
Glossy News
The Hammer
I-Mockery
KTAB News
Muskrat News
News Hax
No Apologies Press
On The John
Perplexing Times
Rant Morgan
Satirium
Social Scrutiny
The Specious Report
Studio 8
The Toque
Trepanning
US Press
The Voice of Reason UK
The Voice of Reason US
Watley Review
Weekly Canard

Music Sites
Sonar Radar
BeatEd.com
Green Plastic
No Through Road
>> News > United Kingdom
British Government To Supply Arms To Red Squirrels - February 18th 2004

The British Government has revealed an initiative to equip the diminishing Red Squirrel population with arms, to aid them in their fight against the Grey Squirrels. The move comes after 25 Red Squirrel refuges have sought refuge in a large coniferous forest – a habitat disliked by the Grey Squirrels.

The Government has declared that they believe that the Grey Squirrels are not just a threat to the Red Squirrels, but possibly the safety of the entire world and it is in British interests to help the Red Squirrels fight back.

The Red Squirrel Army
The Government has supplied the Red Squirrels with Tanks, Machine Guns and Ammunitions, as well as providing military training.

The Grey Squirrel population is one of the most fundamentalist squirrel populations in the world, and are typically believed to hold strong anti Western views. Whilst the red squirrel population is also cynical where the west is concerned, the British Government hopes their more secular community will allow stronger diplomatic ties to develop in the future.

Although the Grey Squirrel’s are currently dominating the Red/Grey conflict, the Red Squirrels are still in control of most of the nuts – one of the largest nut resources in the world – but the Government denies that nuts have anything to do with the conflict. The government insists that it has not made any trade deals concerning the exportation of nuts and that the Red Squirrels will have complete control of them as they are essential for securing their future economical development.

Many diplomats are outraged at the British Government’s actions, claiming they are meddling in a very delicate situation. They also believe that if the Red Squirrels do triumph over the Grey Squirrels are likely to try and expand their army, possibly taking on the Badger community to the south of them, to try and get control of the Badger’s nuts. Given the strong alliance between the British and the Badgers this would mean that the British would be forced into defending the Badgers, meaning the British would be at war with an army they had just equipped.

The Government has shaken off such notions as they believe they are far too ludicrous to transpire.

Click to share this page on:
Disclaimer: Random Perspective accepts no responsibility for your believing of anything on this website.

The content on this website is satirical and thus many reports are unsubstantiated and therefore should not be considered factual. The use of major brands and corporations is used in good humour in order to improve the impact of the writing. Under no circumstances should you believe anything that could be considered defamatory without first checking it against a major news source.

IMPORTANT: If you do not appreciate or understand this article please consult your doctor as your right ventromedial prefrontal cortex is impaired.
Latest News
Shocking Image Confirms UKIP's Claims That Immigration Has Left Parts of Britain Unrecognisable

Santa Unveils Drone Fleet To Revolutionize Christmas Present Delivery in 2013

British and American Government Reach Consensus on Math vs Maths Debate

Yahoo Staff Hope Marissa Mayer's Love For Baking Ends Soon

Is Apple's WWDC the Star Trek Convention of the 21st Century?



Related Topics:
Bush


Related Articles
US Apologises For Accidentally Dropping 2,500 Practice-Bombs on Iraq

United States: “France Sold Iraq Almost As Many Weapons As We Did”

Rumsfeld fails to find Weapons of Mass Destruction, Blair sent in

Saddam Hussein Misses UK Gun Amnesty

Britain Worsens Iraqi Humanitarian Crisis




Related Links

Scary Squirrel









Do you like this website?
Please let me know your opinions by emailing me or contacting me via MSN on BenDickson@Hotmail.com

Random Perspective: News, Satire and Humour.
Random Stuff for those who read this far: Oak Worktops and Walnut Worktops, Bespoke Designer Kitchens, Fruit Videos, FruitVideos Blog, Norfolk Wedding Photography, and Lowestoft Estate Agent