Keeping Secrets No Longer Necessary In British Secret Service

25th February 2004

A landmark case, in which all cases against translator Katharine Gun, a GCHQ whistleblower, were dropped, has resulted in changes being made to the way Britain’s secret and military services operate. The Government has declared that keeping secrets is no longer a necessary requirement and that their duties should be revaluated.

Coming hot on the heels to an announced expansion of MI5 and a national crime squad organisation, the decision is seen to be the latest stage in the Government’s shake up of services responsible for Britain’s security.

The new, non-secretive method of operating means that the Government has introduced a whole new system of Overt Operations. This would see agents going on missions in bright, loud clothing whilst wearing a “Member of MI5” badge and whistling the James Bond theme.

It has also been put forward that the “No Secrets” initiative would also mean that the agency would have to publish plans of its air force carriers , security codes for its Nuclear arsenal and the monthly bill for donuts.

Keith Wilson, a critic of Government policy was completely outraged by the decision.

“Sharing our nuclear arsenal with the world? What are they thinking of. How can they run a country safely without using secrecy?”

The Government responded by explaining that secrecy was still an important issue, just that its responsibility has been transferred from the Secret Services to the Labour Party.

“It’s ridiculous,” Mr Wilson responded, “Just how do they think that it benefits anyone but themselves?”

The Government explained that with secrecy now implemented as one of their responsibilities they were no longer at liberty to answer that question.