The United Nations has condemned the British Government for worsening the humanitarian crisis for the Iraqi People by flying Iraqis for treatment in British Hospitals.

“Given the state of British Hospitals, their actions are severely hindering the health of any Iraqis flown back to the UK. Quite frankly, given the waiting lists over there the Iraqis would be much better off waiting for new hospitals to be built in Iraq.”

The British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, has vehemently objected to this accusation stating:

“The Iraqis will be given preferential treatment in the hospitals they are sent to. We have a list of several strong Conservative candidates whose positions we would like to win in the upcoming Local Elections so what better way to ruin them than to make the health service they provide look appalling.”

He then added after looking at Alistair Campbell: “I wasn’t meant to read out that last bit was I?”

Meanwhile, the US has received credit in the care it has given to the Iraqi crisis with the UN noting:

“The United States has taken exceptional care in it’s dealing with the Iraqi Oil. Not one drop has been spilled and it has been transported back to the United States for special treatment in the advanced US Internal Combustion engines.”